Random Things: The Blog Expansion

First I must apologize for my holiday hiatus. They are a busy time in general, and on top of that I've been trying to get stuff ready to start grad school so I've been a bit pressed for time. Then I wanted to write a post, but I was dog-sitting in Richmond and was having technical difficulties with the WiFi.
Recently, on Facebook I was sent a message called "16 Random Things." The idea is to make a note or message with 16 random facts about yourself (goals, fears, thoughts, whatev) and then tag 16 people to it. You also had to tell the people why you tagged them; they, in turn, had to make their own list and tag you back.
This took some serious thought on my part. Only 16 things? I won't lie to you, the list changed several times and some facts didn't make the cut. This was disappointing simply because I know everyone was craving more information about me. That's when I realized, I'd already played the "Random Things" game; I have a blog. That settled it, I would make my list of 16 things and later expand upon those items in a blog post for the benefit of Erin devotees.

1. I really enjoy infomercials. The cleaning ones are the best. My all-time favorite is "Steam Buggy". I secretly (or not so secretly) wish someone would buy me one so I could go around and clean all sorts of places I think are super dirty. But I wouldn't just clean them; I'd do the comparison just like they do in the infomercials. *Part B: Obviously, I like things to be clean. If your house is really dirty and I've been to it, odds are I imagine cleaning it the entire time I'm there...in a non-judgmental way*
2. I hate the beach.
3. I have a chain of Starburst wrappers that currently measures approximately 6 feet in length. I started it during my final semester of college and continued simply because someone bet me I couldn't make it 5 feet long. The new goal is to be able to decorate a Christmas tree with it.
4. It's no secret that I frequently quote movies/TV, comedians, etc. But what you may not know is that I actually hold back quite a bit. The reasoning is three-fold. 1) I try to hide my full level of insanity from most people. 2) Often times I'm saying it just to amuse myself but I don't want to reference the quote (frequent referencing would indicate the aforementioned insanity), but at the same time I can't have people thinking it's a unique Erin-ism because I hate when people try to pass something off as their own. And 3) I realize that what amuses me may annoy others.
5. I have a long list of goals for my life. Some are big and important (such as world travel) while others are strange (such as operating a meat slicer). I feel that combining lofty goals with small, more attainable goals makes it more fun because then you can actually check off things on the list.
6. I love to be quoted; it makes me feel important.

   "You can write that down and put a dash in front of it, and put my name at the bottom...that's all I want to be is dashed." ~Mitch Hedberg

7. Whenever anyone asks a question involving a number and I don't know the answer, I guess 7. My theory is that one of these days it's going to be 7 and then we’ll see who looks ridiculous. My high school AP Calculus teacher was not a fan of this theory as I knew very little about calculus. If she didn’t want to hear me say, “7,” then she should’ve stopped calling on me. *Note, that this was #7 on the list*
8. Eight is my favorite number, because it looks like a snowman without a head.
9. I was chased through a cemetery by a goose when I was about 4. I fear geese to this day.
10. Speaking of fears, I have many unnatural and irrational ones...old people, water, marionette puppets, U-Haul trucks, and the list goes on. Some of my fears have reasons, others don't.
11. I’ve never hit a moving object. Parked cars are another story. I even hit my own car while on a riding lawn-mower (operating said lawn-mower was a goal of mine).
12. I have never seen The Goonies. I never watched it as a child and I have a sinking suspicion that half the reason people love it is nostalgia as opposed to it being a good movie. So if I were to watch it, I probably wouldn't be impressed and that might be worse than just having never seen it.
13. When I was 2, I told my parents that I “didn’t want to put on my fucking pajamas.” I still point out to my parents that they shouldn’t have spanked me; I obviously heard that word from them. They were the only people I knew and I don’t think they ever dropped the F-bomb on Sesame Street.
14. I am a Grammar Nazi. I suffer from ellipses frustration (when people use more/less than the regulation 3 periods) and a disdain for people who can’t master the concept of the apostrophe. I’m getting frustrated just thinking about it.
15. I could sit here and list tons more Erin Fun Facts; I'm not conceited, I just think a lot of the things I do or think about are weird or amusing. That's probably why I have a blog, unlimited Erin Trivia. I plan to expand upon these random facts and turn this into a blog post (I am also a shameless self-promoter).
16. During my freshman year of college, a street preacher came to our campus to inform us that we were all going to Hell. He called me an, “STD-spreading whore,” simply because I was in a sorority. Naturally, I punched him in the face. My fame preceded me throughout my college career.
17. I refer to myself as the "most self-assured depressed person you'll ever meet." I am depressed, insecure and have low self-esteem. Luckily, I'm not a Scientologist so I take drugs for it. Despite being all these things, I also believe that I'm extremely awesome. I just don't think that anyone else feels that way.
18. I learned about sex at a young age. I believe I was about 5. After informing my mother (Amy Jo) that my kindergarten boyfriend and I had just had sex, she decided it was time to have a talk. As it turns out, we had only kissed. And may I also add that Amy Jo was not one for code names. She used all the official terminology; there was no talk of "pee-pees" at my house.
19. I get nervous around people who are really tall. Because I'm 5 feet tall, most everyone I know is "tall." I'm talking about super tall people here; the kind of people who normal people consider to be tall. I mean, what are they doing all the way up there?
20. In my freshman year chemistry college class, we learned about alcohol. Would you expect anything less from a small Baptist school located in the buckle of the Bible Belt? When alcohol is made, it is filtered through a charcoal filter. The more it is filtered, the higher the quality of vodka. Sophomore year I tried a little experiment...I took my fifth of Heaven Hill (I kept it classy back in the day) and ran it through my Brita water pitcher (which used a charcoal filter) 4 or 5 times. It was no Grey Goose, but I could taste a subtle difference.

Rather than making this post obscenely long, I've opted to stop at a nice round number like 20. I intend to periodically post additions to the list as I am certain I will remember more fascinating things about myself.