Thursday, September 5, 2013

Lock It Down

I've been really broadening my horizons when it comes to my Netflix queue. BTW, has anyone noticed that they're now calling the queue "my list". That's way less fancy and I don't like it. In these efforts I've stumbled on some Investigation Discovery wonders. The latest gem is Nightmare Next Door, it's a show about small towns where heinous crimes occur.

So I'm sitting here watching people getting murdered and whatnot and they're talking about small towns where people don't lock their doors. That's what gets me: not locking your doors. Why wouldn't you lock your doors? Are you stupid?

The whole reason the door was invented was to keep people out. As soon as we figured out how to slap a lock on a door, we did. It's not like door locks are optional; they're included with the door. Not locking a door because no one has broken in yet is like leaving the safety off of a gun because it hasn't been accidentally fired yet. It's not even hard to lock your door! Just do it.

I also happened to be texting my boyfriend so I asked him, what's up with small towns and not locking doors? He mentioned people basically wanting to think that they live in Mayberry. Why wouldn't the citizens of Mayberry lock their doors? Sure, maybe not in the middle of the day; but once everyone goes to bed you lock it down.

What scenario could arise in Mayberry where having your doors unlocked in the middle of the night would be to your advantage? Would Aunt Bea mosey on over at 2 am and just bake a pie in your kitchen? No. I'm pretty sure that didn't happen.

The town did have a Sheriff and a Deputy, so at some point people acknowledged the fact that there was the potential for stuff to go down in Mayberry. And let's not forget the fact that Otis was roaming the streets intoxicated every night. Nobody wants Otis crashing in their living room overnight. But hey, you left the doors unlocked so in my book Otis has every right to bust up in there and pass out on your couch.

Also, maybe people don't understand this but: Mayberry is a fictional town from a 1950s sitcom. What are the odds they'd show anyone getting ax murdered and serial killed on prime time television back in those days? Considering they couldn't show married couples in the same bed or say the word pregnant, I'm betting a grisly murder was definitely out. That's why I mostly don't watch those shows, because nothing super crazy or messed up happens. Plus they're in black and white which is sadder than color.

My final points are: it is 2013 and people are crazy. No place is safe, everyone needs to lock their doors. Even the people of Mayberry would lock their doors these days.