Tuesday, April 1, 2014

I Know Nothing of Javert

I've had "Les Mis" stuck in my head for several days after watching a short clip from the Inside the Actors Studio with the cast of How I Met Your Mother. Neil Patrick Harris (love him) and Jason Segel sang part of The Confrontation, with NPH playing Javert (way better than Russell Crowe) and Segel playing Val Jean.

It was a really cool clip but now it's left me wondering, why was Javert initially chasing Val Jean? Was it just because he was a d-bag?

I've been racking my brain for days; mentally going through the plot of the play and trying to make sure I didn't miss something. Val Jean got his yellow ticket of leave so he didn't escape the prison and ultimately he didn't steal the silver because the priest gave it to him. Then he started a new life under an assumed name (is that illegal?), but at that point Javert was already tracking him down.

Weren't Javert's bosses like, "Hey, we have bigger poisson to fry than help you railroad an innocent guy just because you don't like him but enjoy rocking epic duets together. We aren't telling you how to do your job but maybe during all the singing you should've just grabbed him. Don't you feel just a bit silly for that?"

And on top of that, Javert can't seem to catch him. When he sees Val Jean as M'sieur le Mayor he doesn't even recognize him. No double take, nothing. Val Jean spent 19 years in prison under Javert's "watchful" eye. You're telling me that after 19 years you don't recognize a man's voice or his eyes? Come on, Javert! Get your head in the game, son. Also, Val Jean isn't exactly laying low now is he? He's a major business owner and the freaking mayor.

But somehow Val Jean manages to elude Javert for the entirety of Cosette's life. Yea, Val Jean picks up some major baggage while on the run and Javert still can't catch him. Now he's got a girl daydreaming about castles on clouds on his hands and when she gets older men just lose all interest in the French Revolution and sing about her. I think that's going to draw some attention. But not Javert's attention.

So Javert can never quite catch Val Jean. But you know who does find Val Jean and Cosette? My girl, Eponine. Marius is all, "Hey I met this cute girl and sang to her and stuff, could you find her? I know you will because you're so in love with me. I don't really know anything about her other than her name is Cosette and I want to marry her."

And like women have done for centuries, Eponine agrees to find out if Cosette likes Marius even though she likes him because she thinks maybe this will make him like her more. But oh girl, it doesn't (but don't worry, at least you get a pity kiss from that jerk Marius after you get freaking shot). So Eponine takes a stroll around Paris and finds Cosette and Val Jean in about 6 minutes. Javert hasn't found them in over 10 years. He's had special training in finding people and stuff. He's got the uniform, the hat, the whole nine.

That's really all I have to say about the matter other than the fact that I don't know how Javert got his job. I'd say nepotism except he tells us that he "was born inside a jail" so I doubt his mom had much pull with the police. Maybe his father was a guard...scandalous!


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