Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Space Race

Was there some rich white guy meeting that we didn't know about where they all secretly decided to get super interested in space all of the sudden? One minute we're minding our own business and the next minute, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos are headed to space in an intense inter-galactic pissing contest.

The list of things I'd do with Branson or Bezos levels of money is pretty lengthy. But sending myself into space would definitely be near the bottom. Honestly, I wouldn't even write it down on the paper because I know it would never happen. Space seems neat and I'm glad it's there, but that's about where it ends for me.

And even if I were crazy interested in space, I'd still think it's total BS that these guys are going there. I already experience a daily rage at the thought of Jeff Bezos paying approximately seven nickels in taxes and now that SOB has to rub it in my face with a space vacation?! He could do so much good in the world and still have more money than the rest of us combined, and he goes to space in a questionably-shaped rocket

I'm not saying that rich people don't have a right to spend their own money. They totally do. But they damn well need to pay taxes like the rest of us first. It's completely messed up that headlines such as Boy Pays Off Lunch Debt for Entire School and Jeff Bezos Blasts into Space on Own Rocket: 'Best Day Ever!' exist in the same country. Those are both real headlines, in case you were wondering.

As previously stated, there's a lot of things I'd do if I became super wealthy. I'd certainly buy my fair share of material items; a nice house, new cars, some of those impulse items by the register. I almost said 'furniture I don't have to assemble myself' but truth is, I love assembling IKEA furniture. I'd splurge on some spa treatments like weekly massages. My husband and I would travel to everywhere we'd ever dreamed of going...first class, no less! But I'd also give generously to organizations such as the Humane Society and the National Parks Foundation.

But hey, maybe Jeff Bezos thinks some of my rich lady dreams are silly. Maybe he can't imagine wasting money on a weekend at the Vermont bed and breakfast seen in the 1980s television classic, Newhart. But it's something my husband and I plan to do. 

I guess the point is, when you're worth $205 billion you can do whatever you want. But the second point is that I can laugh at you. 

Sunday, July 11, 2021

Say Goodbye to These

I've been an Arrested Development fan since the early days. I consider it to be one of the funniest and smartest network comedies of all time. Of course, like many quality items of substance, it was underappreciated by the masses and cruelly taken away from those of us wise enough to know that there's always money in the banana stand.

When I first heard it was being resurrected by Netflix in 2013, I was excited. But for a variety of reasons, I didn't watch it right away. I finally got around to watching season 4 a few years ago...and I did not like what I saw. And no, I'm not just talking about Lindsay Bluth's new look. It was disjointed and confusing. I had a hard time getting interested in the storyline. Instead of peppering in the running gags from the first three seasons, they just dumped as many as they could into every episode. I think I abandoned it midway through the season. 

Fast forward to less than a month ago when I finally convinced my husband that he needed to watch the show. Obviously I knew he'd love it, but at a minimum I need him to understand just how hilarious it is when I say, "These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship and the gorilla is for sand racing."

It took a few episodes for him to get on board, but he did. We finished the original run and he decided he wanted to watch the Netflix seasons. So we did. We watched the season 4 remix "Fateful Consequences" which was rearranged and re-released in 2018; and season 5 which ran in 2018-19. We finished the series finale last night...and I have thoughts. Many thoughts. 

My main thought is what I said to my husband at the end of the episode: How. Dare. You. 

Not him, of course. Netflix. How dare Netflix do that to my beloved show?! It's like they don't even care how long it's going to take me to mentally block out those episodes from my memory.

The original Bluths were callous and selfish, but they weren't diabolical. But under Netflix, George and Lucille Bluth became evil villains. The original Buster was an innocent Mother Boy (and he had the trophies to prove it). The new Buster was some sort of sociopath. I could keep going, but I don't feel like getting too angry tonight. I'm just glad I own seasons 1-3 on DVD, that way I don't have to stream them on Netflix and run the risk of accidentally exposing myself to seasons 4-5.

I'd like to quote Kitty Sanchez and tell seasons 4 and 5: Say goodbye to these. 

Space Race

Was there some rich white guy meeting that we didn't know about where they all secretly decided to get super interested in space all of ...