Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Do I Look Stupid, Glee?

While I would never classify myself as a "gleek" (mainly because that is the dumbest word ever) I will say that I enjoyed watching Glee last year. The plot was always kind of ridiculous, but so are the plots to most musicals. The main thing was that the songs were good--so good that I could stomach some of the silliness in order to get to the songs. The ends justified the means. I was all excited for this season to start back up...apparently, I shouldn't have been excited.

If anyone reading this watches Glee, you know that the plot lines have gone from silly to balls-to-the-wall moronic. I don't care for having my intelligence insulted on a weekly basis. The songs are still good, but I can't handle watching everything that happens in between the songs. I feel embarrassed when I watch I need to have the doors locked, ready to change channels when someone comes in. I felt a similar feeling when I was waiting for my dentist appointment a few weeks ago, being forced to watch Disney Channel's Life on Deck.

As I'm sure you're aware, I love TV. I don't make this decision to stop watching Glee lightly. Once I'm invested in a show, I try to see it through. For example, I'm still watching The Office despite the fact that it hasn't been consistently good in several years. Now, if The Office doesn't call it quits after Steve Carrell leaves, I'm done. But I suppose that's another post for another day.

Who knew that a show could jump the shark by the second season? In a way, that's a bit impressive. But not impressive enough for me to keep watching.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Better Late than Never

Let me go ahead and tell you something I'm super pumped about. My friends Laurel and Justy recently got engaged and I am so excited for them...however, that is not the truly exciting news. When they announced the engagement, I raised my hand and called dibs on being the flower girl. This is not the first time I've done this either. I have no shame. Most people think I'm joking, but there is always some seriousness in my request.

I never got to be a flower girl as a child. I had so many friends who'd gotten to be flower girls and I was always jealous of them. It probably goes back to the fact that I don't like it when other people have things or do things that I don't have or do. One of my more endearing qualities. I assumed that Laurel would join the ranks with everyone else who has not taken my request seriously. Well buddy, I was wrong.

That's right. About 2 days later, I got the official request to be her flower girl. You're now reading the blog of a future 26 year old flower girl (I should point out that I'm older than both the bride and groom). If you don't think that's awesome, you need awesome lessons.

I'm bringing everything to this ceremony that a more "traditional" flower girl can't:
  1. Even flower petal distribution.
  2. Actually remembering to throw the flowers.
  3. Not bursting into tears, sitting down in the aisle, etc. (basically any and all shenanigans)
  4. Not stealing focus
  5. No bedtime (how many flower girls can party all night?)
  6. No bitchy, over-controlling mother (Amy Jo is pretty chill)
  7. No pesky child labor laws
  8. The ability to assist in all sorts of other areas: bridal showers, bachelorette parties, alcohol and tobacco purchasing, car rental, voting, carpet shampooer rental, lotto ticket purchases, R-rated movie ticket responsibility
  9. Ability to perform the ceremony if need be, thanks to my online ordination certificate. (True story...I should really try and find where I put that certificate).
  10. Spanish translation abilities (something most weddings need)
  11. AAA membership (that's just always a handy thing to have)
  12. Black Belt (in case ninjas attack the ceremony)
  13. Massive wealth of pop culture knowledge to fill any conversational lulls at wedding-related events
  14. Enough brilliant music selections to keep the reception going for hours (Britney Spears, Spice Girls, any and all boy bands, etc.)
  15. An adorable dog who will eat the flower petals I drop (can you say immediate clean up?)
  16. Knowledge of the choreography of Michael Jackson's Thriller, in case the guests demand a show
  17. Access to high school students who would do any and all wedding tasks (decorating, clean-up, valet parking, serving, etc.) for free in exchange for As in Spanish class
  18. Hilarity (what if the ceremony is running late and I need to entertain the crowd?)
  19. I'm actually old enough to appreciate and remember the honor I will be receiving
  20. Awesomeness
There are probably 1,000 more reasons I'm the perfect choice, but I don't have time to list them all. 8 year old me feels so vindicated right now.

Friday, November 12, 2010

19 Kids--Please stop counting!

Now, it's not in my nature to pass judgement on people I don't know...oh wait, I must be thinking about someone else's nature. I have a blog, thus I not only enjoy passing judgement on others I feel strongly that other people will enjoy my judgements. This past Thursday I was attending a Professional Development course on something technological. I got there early so I started playing on the computer.

I don't typically have time to read the blurbs on news home pages...and by don't have the time, I mean I have important FaceStalking to do. But I had nothing to do waiting for this thing to start, so I perused the headlines and one caught my eye. It was about the Duggars. Amy Jo and I do not care for the Duggars, despite never having watched their show (currently called 19 Kids & Counting, but previously known as 18 Kids & Counting, and 17 Kids & Counting before that). I guess if you're the type of lazy parents who only have 16 kids, you're pretty SOL when it comes to reality TV.

I have a lot of issues with this family. I'm going to completely side-step the issue that the man's name is Jim Bob. Every one of their kids' names starts with the letter J. I find that obnoxious. I don't care for it when parents of normal sized families do it ("and here are our kids, Rachel, Ryan and Rebecca"). I don't understand the need for some sort of gimmick with children. Is it an attempt to reuse monogrammed items? I don't know and I don't want to know.

Also, who needs to have that many kids? I'm not remotely down with what I know of childbirth, I can't imagine what kind of person elects to do that 19 times. I appreciate the desire for a big family (although this family's size is ridiculous), but why not do as Travie McCoy instructed us in Billionaire, "pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt and adopt a bunch of babies who ain't never had shit"?

Here's Amy Jo's big thing with these people: our planet is severely overpopulated (you should watch her reaction when people try to dispute this...or have her retell you a scenario in which this happened) and there are plenty of children out there who need to be adopted and there are all these people just cranking more out babies like Model T's on a Ford Assembly Line. I would like to claim ownership for that similie, that was all me. She thinks that people should have two kids and adopt if they want more. All in all, I think it's a solid plan.

I'm with her on the overpopulation and the thousands of children who need to be adopted out there, but I'm also terrified that this woman would put her life and the life of her baby at risk time and time again with these pregnancies. There comes a certain point at which it is more and more dangerous for a woman to have children; there are health risks both physical and mental/developmental. I'm surprised they have a doctor who advises her to keep going.

I could go on and on, but that's not even the point of my post! In addition to reading the article (which was actually about their oldest son and his wife now expecting their second child) I also read the comments. I always do, because they crack me up. I thought, "Oh man, there are going to be some awesome comments about these lunatics!" Ummm, let's talk about the number of people who commented in defense of the Duggars. Is this country full of people who think having this many children is acceptable or admirable?

I don't even have a way to end this post because I'm still shocked that so many people thought it was completely fine for a couple to just keep having babies and that anyone who thought otherwise was a "Hitler Nazi". That was an actual term used by one of the pro-Duggars, "no more than 2 kids? you must be a Hitler Nazi/" What does that even mean? Like there's some other branch of Nazism, not affiliated with Hitler? Or that there are levels of Hitlerism that will affect our standing on Judgement Day? "Well, I'm no saint but I'm not a Hitler Nazi best, I'm a Manson Nazi or Son of Sam Nazi. No biggie."