Thursday, January 31, 2013

I knew I forgot something...

When I posted some random thoughts yesterday, I knew that I'd forgotten at least one of them. Obviously that bugged me like crazy but the good news is that I remembered it today!

I heard about this contest on the radio where you can enter for a chance to either win $1,000 or be Bruno Mars's BFF for a day. You get to fly out to LA, go to his latest music video taping, and shopping (probably other stuff, too). Personally I'd take the $1,000. It's not that I hate Bruno Mars or anything but I can't really imagine shopping with him. I don't like shopping with my actual friends--I prefer to shop alone! What would we talk about?
  • "Hey Bruno Mars, what do you think of these pants?"
  • "Hey Bruno Mars, can you see if they have this shirt in a larger size?"
  • "Could you do me a favor, Bruno Mars? Since I didn't win that $1,000 I'm going to need to borrow some cash to pay for all this stuff."
  • "Listen up Bruno Mars, as my bestie for the day you're going to need to help me sort through my life and stuff. Let's begin."

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Exciting News!

It's been awhile since I've posted anything...but I swear I wasn't being lazy! Well, some of the time was spent being lazy (but no more than my standard amount). I've been doing stuff for work, getting sick/getting better/getting sick again, spending time with my boyfriend (not to mention properly tying his tie for him), going to the gym this one time, discovering that season 4 of Toddlers and Tiaras is now available on Netflix instant streaming, aaaaand...finally getting around to creating a blog devoted to the things that my students say!

That's right, I finally remembered to set up a blog of student quotes. I'm trying to be really vigilant about updating it regularly. I need to post some new stuff today! The address is www.mystudentquotes.blogspot.com and I hope you check it out and enjoy it.

I always got lots of feedback when I would post Facebook statuses about things my students did or said, so compiling all of those things in one central location seemed logical. I've also got a bunch of the quotes my high school students said that I'll be periodically posting (maybe during the summer).

Naturally, I don't include any student names or other personal information; they're all called "kid 1" and "kid 2". I wish I could post some of the cute videos I have of some of the kindergarteners singing and dancing in class...but seeing as how I don't want to get fired, I won't do that.

I don't want to spend this entire post talking about another blog, so here are some random thoughts I've had of late:

  • Have you heard that Justin Beiber song called Beauty and the Beat? Well, I think that's what it's called. And I think that's how you spell his name. There's a line in it where he says, "We're gonna party like it's 3012," that was kind of smart of Beibs (by which I mean the person who writes his lyrics for him). Prince had that Party like it's 1999 song and it was pretty popular...until January 2000. Ol' JB has made this song applicable for a century. Well played, Justin.
  • No matter what your fitness goals may be, they should stop before you become the woman who makes loud sexual grunts while she's trying to lift weights at the gym. Nobody likes that lady.
  • I wonder if a situation will ever arise in which the fate of mankind depends on something like my ability to compare and contrast the contestants on Toddlers and Tiaras? I doubt it.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Irrationally Irked

I will freely admit that I find a large number of things to be irksome. Some of them make perfect sense (at least, to me). However, there are several things that even I realize are completely nonsensical, irrational, and have no basis whatsoever.

  • Momma: I'm not saying that my mother bothers me (well, every once in awhile). For some ridiculous reason, I hate when people spell the word that way. I believe it was meant to spelled mama. I think it bothers me that I cannot pinpoint a specific reason that people would spell it one way or another. It's not a regional thing, like saying hoagie or grinder. It's just a personal choice. And I don't like it.
  • Buggy: This may seem a bit dramatic, but hearing people use the word buggy to describe a shopping cart can at times sound like nails on a chalkboard to me. When I hear the word buggy, I expect the word dune to precede it. I say cart. It's a cart, short for shopping cart. That makes sense. I also don't like when people call it a basket because it is much bigger than a basket. A basket can be carried in your hand.
  • iOS: This one is just something my mom says that I think sounds odd. I have always pronounced the name of this operating system by saying every letter individually. I-O-S. That's how I've always heard it pronounced by my friends and I assume it to be correct, but what do I know? However, Amy Jo says I-OS. Like it's a word. And that may very well be correct, but I don't like the way it sounds in my ear. If I were a kinder person, I wouldn't bring it up. But if I were a kinder person, I probably wouldn't have a blog.
  • Offline: This is actually something I want to say, but never know if it's technically accurate. When I order something on the Internet, I always want to say that I got it offline. It doesn't make sense even when I look at it, but for some reason my brain wants to say it! I suppose it irks me that it doesn't actually make sense.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Soo...what are you wearing?

The question of the week on Christian Mingle is actually kind of vague and stupid: What are some suggestions for date night outfits? First of all, there has been a lot of confusion as to whether or not they want you to describe what you would wear or what you think the opposite sex should wear. I'm pretty sure they mean what the opposite sex should wear (since that's who is reading the responses), but I definitely understand the confusion. As you can imagine, the responses have been classic. Here are some of the more amazing ones (and of course, my comments). Please note that I am leaving all typos as I found them.

  • Boots, Carhartts and a tshirt :) What's the point in looking any different than I always do? Looks never did save one's soul. Way to make anyone who is at all concerned with their appearance feel bad.
  • Confident colors. What makes a color confident?
  • No holes visible in front of shirt and no missing buttons! Men: shirt must match socks! If no shirt, then No socks! Ladies, shoes must match purse! Good thing to know that the holes in the back of my shirt are acceptable...provided my shoes and purse match (I guess we're dating in the past).
  • No matter what you wear, make sure there's enough room for the holy spirit between you and date. I would hate for my outfit to take up all the space between my date and me. So no Lady Gaga accessories, I guess.
  • be clean, well groomed, dress up, brush teeth, comb hair, smell good, don't look like just got a haircut. The majority of the list is pretty low maintenance, but what's up with looking like you just got a haircut?
  • be yourself ... a natural woman is so much more attractive than a woman covered in war paint. There's nothing wrong with preferring a lady sans makeup, but calling it war paint seems a bit intense.
  • Victoria's Secret is a place you ought to be............LOLLOL I appreciate the honesty, but seriously? Oh, and this dude is 71.
  • How would you want to be dressed if you ran into your Pastor ! ? The beauty of attending a mega church is that my pastor doesn't know who I am and wouldn't recognize me in public.
  • Clothing that is a frame for your face in which the Glory of God shines. That's intense. I don't remember off the top of my head, but I guarantee this guy's username involved God or Lord or something. Like "LivingforHim78" or "GolferforJC". Those names annoy me, as you might imagine.
  • Nothing too revealing. You don't want to give the wrong impression of your intentions. But all of my intentions merit revealing clothing!
  • Modesty, modesty, modesty. No whale tails please. In case you were confused about whether or not a visible thong qualified as immodest or not.
  • A good Christian girl will always bring condoms with her. This guy's profile was borderline schizophrenic. You'd better believe I'll be investigating him, more.
  • Dress appropriately for the occasion and dont "put everything out there". Wearing a genuine smile that comes from having the joy God gives.
  • Keep it classy...never want to wear something that would lead your date into temptation. Classic.
  • Dress humble and proffessional. If you dress promiscuously you could make a man lustful and like you for your looks not for YOU. Dress professional...like I'm going on a job interview?
  • Modest and appropriate for venue, like jeans for rodeo or suit for church! Those are always the 2 date options for me: rodeo or church.
  • Shoes clean pants & skirt. Pants and skirt...it's bold.
  • No plaid!
  • Something very sexy, short, sleeveless, and tight. At least he's honest.
  • Something complicated and covered, but not like a Nun...;-) Complicated? Like lots of buttons and snaps or something?
  • Dress how you want your date to see you. Attractive but not to sexy. You should ask the Lord to He gives wisdom. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to look sexy. And I hope The Lord has better things to do than tell me what not to wear.
  • If you'll wear it to church, then no matter the color or style, you look beautiful in it. Amen!! I don't know, I've dressed pretty sloppily at church.
  • Yes, if it cold I tend to wear a coat, if it is warm............no coat.......... Dramatic pause there before the big reveal!
  • Whatever you do, do it as for The Lord...so wear clothes as to glorify God not yourself or your body.
  • Neon is an aphrodisiac.
  • Don't dress in a fashion as to cause your brother to stumble. Again, classic.
  • Absolutely no pants or pullover type shirts dress to impress. I'm pretty sure he wants you to wear a skirt or dress rather than pants; but he should really clarify. Maybe he wants me to show up pantsless.
  • Cowgirl, in a leather skirt and boots. Don't forget the hat. Spurs optional! Well, if I'm wearing the rest of the getup I might as well throw on some spurs.
  • When you are dressing, look in God's mirror rather than your mirror.
  • nurses outfit...school teacher...cheerleader...lol. Creepy.
  • No revealing or tight clothing. Dress professional & discreet. Again with the professional thing.
  • Tight pants, low cut blouses, wonder bra, 5 inch heels. This creeper was 71 years old. What's with the horny 71 year olds?
  • Something opaque. Modesty is a must :-P Opaque. No translucent or transparent clothing, please!
  • Motives are everything. Do we just dress to impress other people? Man looks at the outer appearance but God looks at the heart.

Let's hope that humble pie is low-cal

As you know, I've complained once or twice about online dating. I've talked about how crappy and pointless it is. And for the most part, I think I'm right. But I guess I am going to have to eat a little bit of humble pie on this one because I actually met someone. We've been dating for about a month and decided to make it official (on Facebook and everything, OMG) last night. I'm not going to go into lots of detail because it's rather personal. It might seem odd for a blogger to consider something too personal to blog about, but there you have it. I think it's better for the relationship to keep it private.

Now, Match.com didn't really do anything to get us together. We did all the leg work. Actually, match didn't suggest his profile to me until after we'd already been on a few dates. Way to stay on top of it, Match.

I know what you're thinking, "Oh no, does this mean we won't be updated on the crazy antics of online dating anymore?" And to you I say, absolutely not! After all, I'm paid up through...well I don't actually remember, but the point is I should still get my money's worth. Besides, I feel obligated to check the sites and make that if anyone messages me I respond so it doesn't seem like I'm being rude.

So, that's that. And now prepare for more hilarious observations from the world of online dating.