Sunday, June 27, 2010

Unearthed Pictures

This is a serious post, but I think it's really important cause and I want people to know about it. My friend Rachel recently began working for an organization called Unearthed Pictures. Unearthed Pictures is a non-profit organization that exists to bring light issues such as human trafficking. Human trafficking is one of those things that we all know exists, but I don't think we realize just how prevalent it is (even in our own country)! Here are some statistics that should shock you:
  • 27 million people are enslaved today. 80% of them are women and 50% of them are children.
  • A woman in South Africa has a better chance of being raped than learning to read.
That is insane and unacceptable (to say the least)! When Unearthed first visited my church, they mentioned the fact that during the 2010 World Cup, South Africa would be legalizing prostitution.

I've often thought about the pros and cons of legalized prostitution. In America, prostitution is legal in Nevada and it is highly regulated. I don't want to say that seems like a "good idea" but at least the women get tested regularly, etc. Not to mention, if prostitution is legal, they have to pay taxes. In a lot of ways that seems to be a logical way to regulate an industry that appears to have a never-ending stream of customers. As long as these women are aware of what they're doing, making a conscious decision to sell their bodies, it's fine, right? That may be the attitude taken by many Americans when they hear about the plans to legalize prostitution in South Africa during the World Cup. However, there are a number of problems:
  • This legalized prostitution includes children of all ages.
  • Many of the women and children are forced into prositution. They are kidnapped and or tricked into going with the people who will enslave them. They are beaten, raped and drugged into submission.
  • A large number of people in Africa (particularly in the sex industry) have HIV or AIDS. You'd think that would be enough to deter people from paying for sex there--but it doesn't.
It is estimated that as many as 40,000 prostitutes could be taken to South Africa during the World Cup (supply and demand, right?). I can't even imagine the issue they'll have when they attempt to make prostitution illegal again, after the games. I'm sure that'll go over well.

To find out how you can help Unearthed Pictures, visit their website. You can also become a fan of them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Good Defense on those Clown Cones

Let me be the first to say that I don't know much about sports. I find them boring, for more of my thought on the subject, please refer to this older post. This past Saturday, my friend Kristin and I were at Mad Potter (a favorite hang out place of ours). When we had finished up our lovely platters we decided to visit the Baskin Robbins next door and get some delicious treats.

There was a fair bit of business inside, seeing as it's already been unseasonably hot here in the dirrty South (OK, maybe Kentucky isn't the dirrty dirrty South like Atlanta is...so how about dirty with 1 r?). I made a beeline towards the clown cones. So there I am, trying to peer in at deliciousness and this dude is blocking my way. I walked back over to Kristin, which is where the conversation (and thus our story) begins...

Me: There's only one clown cone left!
Kristin: What kind is it?
Me: I don't know...I couldn't tell. That man is blocking the case.
Kristin: [After looking at the man] Hmmm. Why don't you take another look at him?
[I ignored this as I was now surveying the thirty-one flavors in all their glory. We ordered our respective desserts and walked outside. There was nowhere to sit so we started walking around.]

Kristin: I was looking at that guy and I thought, "I know him from somewhere...did he used to work at Kroger?" And that's when I realized--that was Coach Calipari. Wasn't it?
Me: I have no idea. I wouldn't know him. All I know is he was blocking the clown cones.
Kristin: Let's go figure out if it was him.
[So, we walk back over to Baskin Robbins and try to nonchalantly get a look at this guy. And sure enough, it was the one and only coach of the UK Wildcats]
Me: How did you know who it was? [Kristin is as interested in sports as I am.]
Kristin: I've had to watch a lot of games.
Me: Well, tell Jacob [her fiance] that he should be proud of you. All I knew about the guy is he was standing between me and dessert.

So there you have it. In a state that views basketball as religion and whomever is currently coaching their beloved Cats as the second coming of Christ, I don't even know the man when I'm trying to get between his ass and the Baskin Robbins freezer case.

Way to Ruin it for Everyone

I've had it up to here with these ridiculous Asian comments that are actually nothing but porn links. To aid this visual, I should tell you that I am holding my hand as high above my head as I can--although that's not very high (I'm only 5 feet tall).

I think we all remember the origin of the comment fiasco. Luckily, my brother is some sort of honorary member of all Asian communities, so he had someone translate it for me...it seemed nice enough. And then I clicked on the link. Porn. And not just run of the mill porn (the porn next door, if you will). This was some crazy shit...fetishes and the like. For all you CSI fans out there, I'm sure Lady Heather knew about this stuff.

I thought I could keep it under control; deleting the comments as they came in. But I'm no match for this industry. So, the day has come. I am now moderating all comments before allowing them to be posted. It felt like the teachery thing to do. It blows, and I'd like to thank these weirdos for making it a necessity. Talk about one bad apple fortune cookie spoiling it for the whole bunch. I don't care if that statement seems politically incorrect--because so are porn link comments.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

New Computer

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have a new computer now (I am typing on it as we speak) and I plan on updating my blog very soon.

Friday, June 18, 2010

A Little PC Deja Vu

Not too long after I wrote my last post, my computer went insane. I was watching some Law & Order SVU on Netflix, when the entire screen went black. It took a good 40 minutes for the computer to turn back on and when it did--all my crap was gone! I flipped out just a little. I took the computer to the trusty Geek Squad at Best Buy...as I was explaining the problem to the guy, he said, "So, all your stuff was gone?" I told him that it was and he said, "Ummm, all this stuff?"

For whatever reason, a whole bunch of my documents decided to appear only at Best Buy...making me look like a crazy person. It was awesome. Anyway, so they were going to run a diagnostic test on the thing and get back to me. About 2 days later they called and said that despite the test, the computer was still randomly turning off. I gave them the go-ahead to send it to the manufacturer to figure it out.

The manufacturer called me yesterday and let me know that I needed a new hard-drive which was going ot be another $200. So, I think I'm probably just going to buy a new one. The pain in the ass thing about technology is that as soon as you pay for it, it's old. I figure there's no point in paying tons to fix something that's already out of date. Plus, I can get a PC without the God-forsaken Vista. So that's what the situation is regarding a lack of posting. I sent the information on the computer I might buy to my brother for him to look at, and once he says it looks like a good one, I'll be able to get it and get back on a regular posting schedule.

The really irritating thing is that I went through all of this not too long ago. I bought this computer at the end of July 2008. I don't know what made it flip out...I hope I don't do it again.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I Heart Netflix

And on the eighth day, God created Netflix...and it was good. (Somewhere in the back of the Bible)

I've had Netflix for about two years now--and I've always liked it. But it wasn't until recently that I began making use of the Instant Streaming feature on Netflix. Why it's taken me so long to do this, I'll never know.

I've never been big on watching things on my computer...it makes my eyes hurt. So, let's say it's my new glasses that have opened my eyes to a world of possibilities regarding my favorite pastime (movie and TV viewing).

There's all kinds of stuff on Netflix. I think it's really going to expand my awesomely bad movie knowledge. I was searching for something a few weeks ago, and this was the only thing that came up:
I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle. I absolutely hate that this movie is not available on Netflix. Conversely, I'm excited to know that it exists. I think that one of the things missing from my life is a film about a vintage motorcycle that runs on blood. I'll write a detailed review once I'm able to see it.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

My Bridesmaid Dress

My friend Kristin is getting married this fall, and I am lucky enough to be in the wedding. I'm really excited about it--I've been in 1 wedding before (well, 2 if you count my Dad's second marriage, but I don't) and it was a very small, casual ceremony (I wore a dress I picked out at Macy's). Although Kristin's wedding will be anything but traditional (it's going to be so cute!), there is the typical bridesmaid dress, etc.
Maybe I shouldn't say "typical" bridesmaid dress, as that conjures up some pretty horrific images. We all were able to pick the style of dress we wanted (awesome) and they will all be a very pretty [emerald] green! So I mean typical in the sense that we ordered them from a bridal store. Here's a picture of my dress...just try to picture it completely green (including the little sashy part).

For those of you who haven't seen me in person, let me just say that I'm a little, um, top heavy. I'm also not the thinnest person in the world (although I've been doing Nutrisystem with relative success). In order to get the dress to fit my upper half, we have to order a [much] larger size. My weight aside, I'm a fairly petite person. Tiny feet, tiny hands, etc. I'm only 5 feet tall. Actually, when I ordered the dress, they measured me several times because it didn't make sense that I would need a size that GIGANTIC! I should also mention that bridal/formal dresses run on the small side (talk about that extra boost of confidence on your big day, right?) Who the hell wants to be wearing a size eleventy-seven on the "happiest day of their life"?

Naturally, the dress designers assume that my height matches my weight. I'm used to it. There are very few articles of clothing in my possession that have not been altered in some fashion. What I'm trying to say is that I knew this dress would be too big and that it would require altering (better that than too small). And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the understatement of the year.

I tried on this dress (or tent) and my jaw hit the floor. First of all, I don't have to unzip it to get in and out (I actually think I could jump in). I could fit another small person in there with me. You see the v-neck part, where it shows just a bit of cleavage? Well, the v on my dress is definitely a capital V...as it goes well below my boobs. The halter back also scoops very low...as in, completely below my bra. And it's so gaping that you could probably see my underwear if you looked down the back of it.

I put my clothes on and went out to pay the balance. "How'd it fit?" asked the sales clerk. "Well," I replied, "let's just say it's a good thing I know an amazing seamstress because she's going to have to all but take this thing apart and put it back together again." What can I say, I like to be direct. I'd upload a picture of myself in it, but it would be too revealing (and trust me, no one wants to see that). However, if you want to laugh so hard that you almost pee a little, stop by the house and I'll model it for you.

I estimate that this dress will take a good 2-3 weeks to alter...which means I'll have to go into a "maintenance mode" on the diet, so that it still fits when I pick it up! But, I can definitely tell that once the dress is altered, it's going to be really cute! I'm still super excited about it, and being in Kristin's wedding! But from the moment I put the dress on, I knew there was no way I couldn't tell you about it.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

And Now My Pants are on Fire

I'm such a liar--I write a quick post explaining that I'll post again soon (but not right away)...and then what do I do? Write another post. You should probably stop believing every word I say (however, don't stop reading them).

No sooner had I typed the words about having lots of material for future posts, when it hit me: a decent number of my stories are about my students. I probably can't (shouldn't, and won't) tell you those. Sure I'll write about generalities (i.e. what the kids are into these days) but I can't tell you the hilarious story about So-And-So. Side note, I'd love to have a kid named Soandso in a class (you heard me America, make it happen).

I wish I could have a completely anonymous blog in which I'd publish all the crazy tales from my classes, but anonymity has never been my thing. I'm way to starved for attention. When I do something, I need people to know that I'm the one who did it. If they don't know it was me, then who do they know to compliment and praise for being awesome?!

But, since I'm not too keen on being fired (I've been fired before, and it's not for me) I have to hold these stories in. And by hold them in I mean type them all out in Word documents and hang on to them until I retire and publish them into a hilarious coffee table book. I think I could be a decent author--not some fancypants award, I don't think I have that level of dedication. I'm not remotely interested in developing characters and plots and all the minutia involved in writing novels. I'm more of a commentator.

I want to write the book that people buy because it cracks them up. So they put it on their coffee table and their friends come over, see it, crack up and then go out and buy their own copies. When the time is right, I believe that my stories about students (accompanied by copies of various quizzes, etc. [names removed, of course] with hilarious drawings and comments) will be just the book. Make sure you're on the lookout for it...in roughly 30 years or so.

School's [Almost] Out for Summer

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I am still alive. Things at school have gotten really busy (end of the semester madness)--but the good news is that school gets out this Thursday. That's T minus 2 days people. I've had a great first semester, but it's been a bit overwhelming at times. I'm definitely ready for a break. And for me, breaks include blogging!

I have been having my same random thoughts on life and quirky experiences as per usual, so there's definitely not a lack of material. I'll try not to overload everyone with a dozen posts every day (although I make no promises).

All that being said, do not be surprised if I don't have anything posted this weekend. On a sad note, we are saying goodbye to our family dog this Saturday. Jake has been a great dog and we love him but his health is declining in his old age and we don't want him to suffer. He's actually sitting next to me as I type this (as he often does), and I can tell that he's ready. It was a really hard decision that has us all pretty upset, but we know that it's the right decision.

Obviously, I might not be in the mood to provide my typical humorous observations and commentaries for you this weekend. I don't plan on posting a really weepy lamentation either--I'm honestly doing enough of that inside my brain. I might think of some funny Jake stories for some sort of tribute post, but who knows? Whatever I decide to do, know that Jake is a pretty awesome dog and I love him a lot.