Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Harry Potter Preparations

I've officially begun my preparations for the last Harry Potter film's release on July 15, 2011. How does one prepare for such an event? Let me tell you.
Lola decided that she didn't like me reading
Harry Potter. I did debate reading them
to her because I think she'd like them.
  • Entered the release date in the calendar on my iPhone so I won't forget.
  • Changed my ringtone to "Hedwig's Theme"
  • Purchased the first 7 movies on Blu Ray in order to hold a marathon.
  • Started re-reading all 7 books so the information is fresh in my mind. I started yesterday, read for about an hour and a half and I'm already half-way through book one (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone). Of course, that was back in the days when Harry Potter books were a manageable size (309 pages) that could be held easily with one hand.
  • Host a separate film festival for Amy Jo. Amy Jo didn't read all the books, what with being a busy grown up at the time (lame), and she hasn't seen all the movies either so she needs to be caught up one way or another. Last night we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's crazy how all the characters look like such little babies in the first movie.
  • Ideally, this would also include a trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter amusement park at Universal Studios...some day! If I were getting married any time soon, that would seriously be on my list of Honeymoon destinations and I'm not even ashamed to say it.
I love Harry Potter. Ar first I thought, it's going to be so weird when there's no more new Harry Potter stuff and then I heard about J.K. Rowling's upcoming announcement. She's creating something called Pottermore and will announce what it is in less than two days. Watch the countdown here.

Man, I wish I'd been a wizard.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

You say "Liberal Pussy" like it's a Bad Thing

My love of bumper stickers is no secret. I've blogged about it many times; six times by my count.
Get ready for number 7...

If you don't have something like this on your car all I have to
say to you is, "Why do you hate America so much?"
I was driving around yesterday and I got behind this pickup truck with a decal across the back window. I'm not talking about the majestic ones that take up the entire back window like this American flag and patriotic bald eagle, although doesn't it make you proud to be an American? You know, you don't really see much of this behavior in other countries and I can't help but wonder why? Why don't people in England emblazon the rear windows of their cars and obstruct their view while driving just to show some country pride? I guess that's a question for a different post.

Back to the truck I saw. The decal was just a sentence but I believe it spoke volumes. I'm going to try and recreate it as best I can:

I went to IRAQ to fight for your freedom YOU LIBERAL PUSSY!

There are so many things about this statement that irritate me. Believe it or not, my main issue does not relate to being called a pussy. The most frustrating thing about this is that this person obviously believes that just because somone is against the war that they are against the troops. That couldn't be further from the truth. They're just doing their job and I respect that. I think comedian Mike Birbiglia puts it best when he says:

I love the troops! Because if they weren't the troops, I would be the troops. And I would be the worst troops. I'd be like, "You want me to carry a gun this heavy and run away screaming? That is too many things."

That sums me up in a nutshell. I couldn't possibly do one-tenth of what the troops do and I have never for one second thought that I could. I hate that there has been all this propoganda that makes it seem as though anti-war and pro-troops cannot coexist. I know plenty of conservative people who are/were against the war too. And I know liberals who are/were for the war. Believe it or not, some people are able to separate each individual issue before rendering their opinion.

Now, let's get back to this whole "liberal pussy" issue. I like to think that my being a pussy has nothing to do with my being liberal. My cowardice and weakness attribute to being a pussy, not my political views. If you're going to insult me, I'd at least like it to be accurate. Is that too much to ask?

Thursday, June 16, 2011

It's Not that Hard

There are a variety of aspects of summer vacation that are awesome. One of them is the abundance of time. Unlike during the school year, when something irritates me I have the time to ramble on about it to you, my 7 blog readers.

Today I was running a few errands around town. The final errand was at the Boston Road Kroger. Amy Jo can tell you that I have named and categorized almost all the Krogers around our home (because I use my time wisely). The Marketplace Kroger in Beaumont if obviously nice. The Bellerive Kroger is where I worked for quite some time so everything there makes sense to me. The Brannon Crossing Kroger is the Twilight Zone Kroger because what is up with that store?! Nothing is where it should be and it doesn't make sense and every time Amy Jo and I go in there we get angry. Finally, Boston Road Kroger is the Kroghetto. It's not the most ghetto Kroger in Lexington, but for my side of town it's kinda skanky. I was there because it was the one on my way home.

I was walking in to buy some various Skinny Cow desserts as a part of the lifelong struggle that is my weight. Any way, the girl working the floral department was watering the plants outside. This was my least favorite part of working in floral--your hands always got gross from the hose and your shoes got wet and you had to walk unnecessarily (hmmm, a piece to the weight struggle puzzle presents itself). As I approached the door she set down the watering wand (see photo and hilarious quote below). This is not a particularly fancy watering wand; it cannot be turned off without shutting off the water. So, yea, why wouldn't you just set that down on the ground?

"I saw a product on late night TV. It said, 'You can water your hard to reach plants with this product.' Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?  I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they will invent a product before you shrivel and die. Think like a cactus." ~Mitch Hedberg
She set it face down because we all know water isn't strong enough to move things. Water never destroys entire towns or anything. As I walked by, the water decided it was tired of having The Man keep it down so it found all its strength and turned the oppressive watering wand over. Oh, and did I mention that it sprayed me with water? Who wouldn't want to walk into a freezing cold grocery store now that they're all wet? Normal people, that's what they're called.

I like to think of myself as an easygoing person. You may disagree based on my blogging, but you must understand that I blog because I try not to say all these things to people right when they happen (also I'm self-centered). I talk about them behind their backs, because I was raised right. I'm a chronic over-tipper, even if the service is terrible I find myself thinking, "well I don't know what's going on in their life and their job might be really hard" or whatever. In this instance, I actually know what the job entails. I did that exact job for several years--and I never sprayed customers with a hose. It's not hard, you just continue holding the watering wand rather than setting it on the ground like a weirdo. It's actually less work to continue holding it than it is to set it down.