In the words of one of my favorite TV characters, Maurice Moss, "You best put seat-belts on your ears, because I'm about to take them for the ride of their lives."
I woke up on Monday morning, assuming that it would be like any other day. Little did I know that disaster would strike while I was in the shower. There I was about to get so fresh and so clean clean when I saw a white spider on the wall above the shower. Oh no. No sudden movements. And then BAM! he decided to drop onto the shower ledge. What was I to do? I didn't have a weapon and I couldn't call for Amy Jo. I grabbed the shower squeegee that I never use and I attempted to smush that spider's face and drag his body down so that I could spray him down the drain.
But where was his body? Nowhere to be found. I'm too short to see the ledge above the shower so I didn't know if he was up there on his deathbed or planning his counter-strike. As a person with a solid case of arachnophobia, I knew that it had to be the latter. I'd pissed him off and vengeance would be his. But for now, the eight-legged Houdini was gone.
It was one of the most paranoid showers I've taken in a long time. Probably since they watched the movie Arachnophobia at Halloween in middle school and I laid my head down fully aware that I couldn't handle seeing the movie. I made the mistake of turning around at the exact moment a spider was in the shower in the movie.
Fast forward to the next day. I inspected the shower before I got in, but I didn't see him. I got in and started showering. AND THEN THERE HE WAS ON THE CEILING! Obviously he was there to murder me. Paralyzed with fear, I watched him crawl across the ceiling and waited for him to drop down and attack me. But he didn't. he crawled outside of the shower area. Now he was more over the toilet.
He thought he was safe. Well let me tell you what he didn't count on. He didn't count on me getting out of the shower, drying off, grabbing a tissue, standing on the toilet and killing him! And that's how I knew that Tuesday would be a good day.
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