Monday, March 3, 2014

Unsung Hero of Home Alone: Old Man Marley

Here I am enjoying Snow Day #12, what a perfect chance to update the old blog. I was texting my mom this morning and she mentioned that she ran out of time shoveling this morning so would I mind finishing up. Obviously I didn't mind, so I headed out to finish up what she said was a little bit of shoveling. It must've snowed more since she had shoveled because the whole driveway was covered again!

While shoveling snow it's hard to not notice how difficult it is. And as any normal child who grew up in the 90s, the first thing I think of when I see a snow shovel is the character Old Man Marley from Home Alone.

Buzz (also, who names their kid Buzz?) tells Kevin that Old Man Marley killed his whole family back in 1958 and kept their bodies in a garbage can full of salt that turned them into mummies. And now all he does is walk up and down the streets, shoveling and salting the sidewalks.

You know what, I bet nobody on that whole street appreciates the service that man provides for the neighborhood. Shoveling is flippin' hard work, plus he's an old man! Do you think the McCallisters (or anyone else on the street) ever chipped in money for salt? Doubtful! They were too busy spending money on tickets to Paris, golden kaleidoscopes, and lawn jockeys that are menaces to all visiting cars.

So, yea, they say he murdered some folks...but that was over 30 years ago. Plus, has he ever tried to murder any of them? As far as anyone on that street knows, all he does is keep them from having to shovel their own walkways. I wouldn't say no to Old Man Marley helping out on my street.

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