Thursday, June 16, 2011

It's Not that Hard

There are a variety of aspects of summer vacation that are awesome. One of them is the abundance of time. Unlike during the school year, when something irritates me I have the time to ramble on about it to you, my 7 blog readers.

Today I was running a few errands around town. The final errand was at the Boston Road Kroger. Amy Jo can tell you that I have named and categorized almost all the Krogers around our home (because I use my time wisely). The Marketplace Kroger in Beaumont if obviously nice. The Bellerive Kroger is where I worked for quite some time so everything there makes sense to me. The Brannon Crossing Kroger is the Twilight Zone Kroger because what is up with that store?! Nothing is where it should be and it doesn't make sense and every time Amy Jo and I go in there we get angry. Finally, Boston Road Kroger is the Kroghetto. It's not the most ghetto Kroger in Lexington, but for my side of town it's kinda skanky. I was there because it was the one on my way home.

I was walking in to buy some various Skinny Cow desserts as a part of the lifelong struggle that is my weight. Any way, the girl working the floral department was watering the plants outside. This was my least favorite part of working in floral--your hands always got gross from the hose and your shoes got wet and you had to walk unnecessarily (hmmm, a piece to the weight struggle puzzle presents itself). As I approached the door she set down the watering wand (see photo and hilarious quote below). This is not a particularly fancy watering wand; it cannot be turned off without shutting off the water. So, yea, why wouldn't you just set that down on the ground?

"I saw a product on late night TV. It said, 'You can water your hard to reach plants with this product.' Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?  I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they will invent a product before you shrivel and die. Think like a cactus." ~Mitch Hedberg
She set it face down because we all know water isn't strong enough to move things. Water never destroys entire towns or anything. As I walked by, the water decided it was tired of having The Man keep it down so it found all its strength and turned the oppressive watering wand over. Oh, and did I mention that it sprayed me with water? Who wouldn't want to walk into a freezing cold grocery store now that they're all wet? Normal people, that's what they're called.

I like to think of myself as an easygoing person. You may disagree based on my blogging, but you must understand that I blog because I try not to say all these things to people right when they happen (also I'm self-centered). I talk about them behind their backs, because I was raised right. I'm a chronic over-tipper, even if the service is terrible I find myself thinking, "well I don't know what's going on in their life and their job might be really hard" or whatever. In this instance, I actually know what the job entails. I did that exact job for several years--and I never sprayed customers with a hose. It's not hard, you just continue holding the watering wand rather than setting it on the ground like a weirdo. It's actually less work to continue holding it than it is to set it down.

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