Am I the only one who judges the inhabitants of the cars around me? Of course I'm not. For example, when I'm driving next to a car that's all beat up and obviously been through a few wrecks, I get away from that person because they just don't care anymore. I also have a bumper sticker obsession. I'm not the type to EVER put a bumper sticker on my car--unless I had an old POS-mobile. I'm more of a static cling kind of gal; bumper stickers are so permanent and they decrease the resale value. This might sound odd coming from someone with a tattoo (and dreams of another tattoo should massive anxiety subside), but it's not like I'm planning on selling my body any time soon (or ever).
But when I see a car with bumper stickers, I have to know what they say. I love clever things. One of the worst days of my life as a child (other than the turmoil of my parents' divorce, etc.) was after an appointment at the eye doctor. My eyes had been dilated and I was rocking those awesome old lady sunglasses when we pulled up behind a bumper sticker-clad car. Although my vision was blurry, I could tell that everything but the back window of this car was COVERED in bumper stickers. However, I couldn't read them. And to top it all off, it must have been rush hour because we sat behind that car for a long time. Had my vision been unaltered, I would've had ample time to read the witty repartee of the bumper stickers. That's just as bad as being caught behind a similar car for a short period of time.
A few weeks ago, I was driving to Richmond, and I was behind a minivan delivering Papa John's. There was a bumper sticker I couldn't read so I sped up. And thank God I did, otherwise I wouldn't have known how this person felt about "titties & beer," I assume he's pro on both of those hot-button issues. I began wondering whether or not a middle aged man, delivering pizza in a mini-van with a titties & beer bumper sticker could pinpoint exactly when his life took a different turn. I'm betting yes.
socialism and how it's different than capitalism and that America will never be anything other than a capitalist nation, I have serious issues with you operating heavy machinery.
I was behind a rather interesting vanity plate the other day. I'm sitting behind this car with a veteran plate that reads: DRUNK. Really? The statement about yourself you want to put out to the world is 'drunk'? Why not HORNY or something equally as dumb? If I was a cop, and I saw a car with a DRUNK vanity plate, I'd pull them over. If you're drunk so much of the time that it's worth advertising on your car, my odds of bagging a DUI increase exponentially.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Drive Me Crazy
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