Sunday, April 18, 2010

As long as you're down...would you care to be kicked?

On Tuesday, I left school after a meeting. I realized that my car was looking a hot mess and that I should probably remedy the situation. I've taken to going to this one, slightly ghetto car wash that's close to work. The only problem was that you have to get out of the car and go inside the gas station to pay...something I was not interested in on that particular day. I remembered another car wash that was on my route home and decided to go there.

I got there to find that there was no line--I thought it was my lucky day. I love all aspects of the car wash. I actually love washing my own car, but I'm too much of an enviro-nut that I can rarely justify wasting the excess water to do so. But I do enjoy sitting in the car wash. It's kind of relaxing. Plus I usually clean out my purse or balance my checkbook while I'm in there, so that's cool. As I was sitting in there, I found myself thinking, "Wow, it feels like I've been in here for awhile." The brushes kept going over my car but there was very little water and/or soap. But it's not like I could get out, so I just sat there. Finally the wash was done and I drove out.

"Hmmm," I thought, "my windshield still seems a bit dirty." I just chalked it up to me being insane and continued to drive home. When I got home I discovered that my car was still filthy. Great. I just wasted $7 (that's right--I go all out. I'm a car wash high-roller--tire cleaner, hot wax, the whole deal). AND to top it all off, I now had to get my car washed AGAIN! Since I had paid [in cash] at the entrance to the car wash there was absolutely no proof that could possibly entitle me to a refund.

I drove to another car wash near my house. When you enter this car wash, it's got almost a conveyor belt type thing that moves your car for you. It also makes it impossible to back up. I pulled into the thing and attempted to pay. I say attempted because the machine would not accept my money. And naturally, it didn't have a debit/credit card thing. So I had to get out of my car--a sight that I'm sure was glorious to the person in line behind me. There was BARELY enough room for me to get out. I squeezed out & went inside to pay (for the cheap carwash--no need to be a baller on round 2). I stepped inside and as my eyes adjusted to the light I heard someone say my name.

"Who the hell knows me at this car wash?" I thought. As my eyes focused the visage of my former stepmonstermother came into focus. "Really, universe? REALLY?" I thought. The afternoon/early evening was already sucking sufficiently but this was the icing on the cake. We chatted in line, and she somehow knew what I was up to (odd and creepy). It was awesome...only in a completely non-awesome way.

However. I discovered she was there to fill up a gas canister for the lawn mower so that she could go mow her lawn. Maybe you have to know the whole step-family chapter of my life to find that as amusing as I did. But, I was shocked to learn that she is capable of manual labor. The mental image of her mowing a lawn that I carried with me out of that Shell station was worth the rest of the crap I'd had to put up with that day.

Oh, and then I actually washed my car.

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