I'm so glad I've chosen a career that includes thirteen billion days off. Shaping America's youth requires a lot of breaks. So here I am, enjoying my first [paid] Spring Break. I spent the first couple days dog-sitting in Richmond, which does not typically provide a lot of blog excitement--unless you count the additional time alone with my thoughts.
Yesterday, I had to drive up to Lexington to get some lab work done at the doctor (sadly, your favorite blogger requires cholesterol checks). I drove up around 10ish AM and noticed that the opposite side of the interstate was completely backed up! Eventually I saw the cause, a jack-knifed tractor-trailer. Although my lab work would only take a few minutes, I figured I'd stay in Lexington for a bit rather than sit on the interstate. So I called up a friend and we had a long, leisurely brunch.
A good 3 hours had passed, so you can imagine how shocked I was to arrive at the interstate and see that it was STILL backed up! I began rocking out to my Wicked soundtrack as I inched along I75-S at snail-like speed. My mind wandered as I looked for something interesting in my surroundings. I thought I saw something in the distance..."no," I thought, "it couldn't be!" I drove a few more feet down the road and saw that my initial suspicions were correct: there was a dildo on the side of the road.
I just stared at it, for a multitude of reasons: The main reason was that you don't typically see something like that on the side of the road. The other disturbing thing about this sight was the sheer size of it. This thing had some girth to it...and I'm terrified of the person who had been using or was going to use this item. Terrified.
Needless to say, I thought about this most of the way home. The thing I don't understand about dildos (well I guess I don't understand most things about them) is the fact that they're designed to look like the real deal. Did I miss the memo on that being an attractive appendage? I think not. I just don't see the need for the attention to detail. The one thing I do know is that there's nothing like a discarded dildo on I75 to remind you that it's Spring Break.