Tuesday, June 1, 2010

And Now My Pants are on Fire

I'm such a liar--I write a quick post explaining that I'll post again soon (but not right away)...and then what do I do? Write another post. You should probably stop believing every word I say (however, don't stop reading them).

No sooner had I typed the words about having lots of material for future posts, when it hit me: a decent number of my stories are about my students. I probably can't (shouldn't, and won't) tell you those. Sure I'll write about generalities (i.e. what the kids are into these days) but I can't tell you the hilarious story about So-And-So. Side note, I'd love to have a kid named Soandso in a class (you heard me America, make it happen).

I wish I could have a completely anonymous blog in which I'd publish all the crazy tales from my classes, but anonymity has never been my thing. I'm way to starved for attention. When I do something, I need people to know that I'm the one who did it. If they don't know it was me, then who do they know to compliment and praise for being awesome?!

But, since I'm not too keen on being fired (I've been fired before, and it's not for me) I have to hold these stories in. And by hold them in I mean type them all out in Word documents and hang on to them until I retire and publish them into a hilarious coffee table book. I think I could be a decent author--not some fancypants award, I don't think I have that level of dedication. I'm not remotely interested in developing characters and plots and all the minutia involved in writing novels. I'm more of a commentator.

I want to write the book that people buy because it cracks them up. So they put it on their coffee table and their friends come over, see it, crack up and then go out and buy their own copies. When the time is right, I believe that my stories about students (accompanied by copies of various quizzes, etc. [names removed, of course] with hilarious drawings and comments) will be just the book. Make sure you're on the lookout for it...in roughly 30 years or so.