Monday, July 5, 2010

Department of Natural Ridiculousness

I just got back from a fun Fourth of July weekend on Lake Monroe in Bloomington, Indiana. The most frustrating thing about that lake is the wrecklessness taken by most of the people on it. The unofficial motto of the lake is: I do what I want, when I want, "No Wake Zone" be damned. The second most frustrating thing about the lake is a little group called the DNR.

DNR stands for the Division of Natural Resources (not, Do Not Resuscitate). I have no beef with nature. Well, sometimes I do because I'm indoorsy, but I respect nature. I've always considered myself to be a Planeteer (although I wish I had a ring). I support nature, but I do not support the DNR (much like supporting the troops, but not the war--which, I also do). The DNR is ridiculous and if they did their job, the lake would be 67% less dangerous.

Sadly, the event I am about to describe was not witnessed by yours truly. Kristin and I had taken the jet-ski out for a spin and therefore missed all the action. The trusty DNR manages to make it to my family's boat (dodging drunken boaters at every turn) and then refuses assistance in pulling their boat up next to ours with the phrase, "I'm not going to hit your boat. I do this for a living." And that's when he hit the boat. He then issued a warning ticket because the registration letters on the side of our boat are too small. Apparently, they should be 3 inches...and they were somewhere between the 1-2 inch range.

I know what you're thinking, how can we live with ourselves? I'm so full of shame. As he's writing the ticket, boaters are speeding in and out of the no-wake zone to which Deputy DNR says, "Yea, they don't really follow that rule." Wow. If only there was someone...some sort of organization that could enforce lake law. I suppose this guy had been told that he could only talk to people about appropriate sticker size and was unaware that he has the power to make people obey the more important regulations regarding water safety. That's too bad.

And then, as he drove off into the sunset, seeking out other rogue pontoons with illegal stickers, he hit our boat again.

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