I Will Accept the Charges

Thanks to kindergarten kids who do things like lick the tables for no reason, I spent the majority of last week feeling quite crappy. So I was laying on my couch, doing nothing, when my phone rang. It was my friend Trisha with an interesting question. In a hushed tone she said, "Erin, I need to get your opinion on something. I'm standing here with 2 copies of The Bell Jar and I can't decide which to buy. One is more original looking and has her original artwork on the cover, but there's some profane writing in the back, just someone being stupid. Which should I get?"

After I advised her to buy the more original-looking book and simply cover up the profanity in the back, she thanked me and quickly hung up. And while this may sound like a strange phone call to you, it isn't strange to me. A few years ago, my friend Kristin called me fairly late in the evening and the conversation went as such:

Kristin: Air [one of her many nicknames for me], I know you'll have the answer to this. You know in Saved by the Bell, when they work at the beach club...
Me: Yea, the Malibu Sands Beach Club.
Kristin: What is the name of the boss at the club?
Me: Leon Carosi.

If you know me but at all, you are well aware that I absolutely hate talking on the phone. If I haven't talked to you in a long time or you have something interesting to say, I will most likely enjoy the conversation, but the hours of inane chatter that my gender is known for is not my thing (obviously, this is only on the phone...in person, I talk more than most people). That being said, I have realized that there are some phone calls I actually enjoy getting. I love that I'm the person you call when you want to know the most random, pointless information imaginable.

If you have my phone number and have not made use of the fountain of interesting trivia that is my brain, feel free to do so. If you don't have my phone number, well...maybe you should think about why that is.