Monday, December 31, 2012

Just keep pinning

Like the majority of my gender, I love Pinterest. It's a fantastic time-suck. I like things that I can just mindlessly peruse as a means of mentally unwinding. And sometimes there are some good ideas floating around the site. Plus, you have to be invited to join and that's delightfully sassy (especially for a website).

I "follow" some of my friends on Pinterest, and I look at some of their pins. But a lot of people follow certain people or boards religiously. I don't. I guess it's due largely in part to my self-centered nature. To say I don't care about what my friends are pinning seems cruel...but it also seems a bit accurate. You pin what you want, I'll pin what I want and we'll call it a day. For example, if you have a board devoted to wedding stuff I have no need to look at it as I am not engaged. If you have a board devoted to cute poses for your maternity photo shoot, I won't check it out because I'm quite certain that I am not pregnant.

Another popular trend arising from Pinterest is craft clubs. Girls getting together every so often to attempt to make wreaths or other stuff they saw on Pinterest. If that's your thing, I'm cool with it. However, it is not my thing. It's not that I'm not artistic, because I am. I don't say crafty because the word crafty makes me feel like a grandma who puts puff paint on holiday-themed sweatshirts. I'm all for spending quality time with friends but if that quality time always includes me coming home with a mason jar I've spray painted and bedazzled a Bible verse onto, I'm not interested.

Here are some of the thoughts that run through my head while on Pinterest:

  • Why would I want to make my own laundry detergent? You know who's good at making detergent? Detergent companies. I'll just buy Tide like a regular person.
  • If I were Ryan Gosling, I'd do a whole photo shoot to help out all these "Hey Girl," people. Like a whole series of me holding various craft supplies or something. Maybe a series of me doing household chores because I keep seeing all these pins hinting that photos of hot guys doing housework is like porn for women.
  • Speaking of "porn for women" I don't think it's the fact that the guy in the picture is cleaning that does the trick. I'm pretty sure it's his hotness. At the end of the day I don't care if Jensen Ackles (my celebrity crush from Supernatural) is holding a vacuum cleaner or not. I care that he is Jensen Ackles and he is beautiful.
  • Channing Tatum is the most overrated thing since Greek Yogurt.
  • While that does seem like a nice cupcake carrier, it looks like it would be a bitch to clean and store. I just won't make cupcakes.
  • I should study the correlation between the obnoxiousness of a child's name and the mother's desire to stamp that child's name onto everything they own. But then again, if I'd insisted on giving my kid a weird name (like Hadleigh) or a normal name with a weird spelling (like Meaghanne), my brain might not be firing on all cylinders and I might need reminders of how to spell it.
  • I'm not against a house having a "man cave" for a guy to put all his guy stuff in, but I am so over hearing the term man cave. And I bet he's tired if hearing it, too. I bet every time you talk about his man cave, he wishes he were in an actual cave so he could be left alone. Also, why are you pinning pictures of ideas for his man cave? Stop meddling in his cave, woman!
  • I'm not saying that your idea for storing the remainder of a bag of chocolate chips isn't clever, because it is. What I'm saying is, how often does this chocolate chip preservation scenario come up at your house? And what's wrong with a rubber band?
  • Now there's a tattoo you'll never regret!
I could go on and on. I actually have a board on Pinterest to make fun of things, it's called "Why is this a thing?" And it's proven to be quite popular with a number of my friends. Last night I felt bad for about half a minute because some people might see that I'm repinning their serious picture onto a board that questions that picture's existence. But then I realized, maybe they don't know that they like stupid things. Somebody has to tell them. If you share any of my feelings towards Pinterest, I totally recommend visiting this website: www.pinterestyouaredrunk.com

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