Thursday, July 10, 2008

South of the Border

Let it never be said that I don't tackle the hard-hitting issues. That being said, I'd like to talk about Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell. It may be difficult to put my love into words, but dammit I'm going to try!
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In my Google image search of Taco Bell pictures, I discovered a still image from a video of a rat inside a Greenwich Village Taco Bell. Will this stop me from eating there? No. First of all, I don't live in Greenwich Village (and if I did I might realize that NYC has some bad-ass rats). Secondly, you think that's never happened at McDonald's? If the workers are as astonished as you are to see the rat and/or are not calling it some sort of nickname it has been given then odds are, rats are not commonplace at that eatery.
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At this time I'd like to give a shout out to the Taco Bell in Georgetown, KY. It seems like whenever I went through the drive-in there a voice would say, "Thank you for choosing South of the Border, can I take your order?" That is damn friendly. Also, it rhymes and I have recently noticed that I believe (or am immediatly impressed by) virtually anything that rhymes. While no one at a Lexington Taco Bell has ever said that to me, they are always friendly. You don't get that in 99% of drive-thru interactions.
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Taco Bell also understands the concept of the drive-thru; you are driving through because you are too busy to get out of your car and they get you your food fast! I cannot get food any faster via drive-thru than I can at Taco Bell. I also commend Taco Bell for not putting in those weird-ass 2 lane drive-thrus McDonalds has been trying out. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that perhaps (somewhere) they work, they don't work here. What's the point of having 2 places to place your order to only then have the 2 separate lines feed back into a single line? That accomplishes nothing not to mention they have an even harder time distinguishing my order when I get to the window.
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Now let's get into the deliciousness. Simply amazing. How do they do it? I have no idea. Of course, you will always hear the naysayers spouting vicious rumors about places like Taco Bell using Grade F meat or something but I refuse to believe it. And even if that was the case, I say bring on the Grade F because that shit is good. Coincidentally, this is also my response when people tell me that Chinese food contains household pets are attempt to tell me what is in a hotdog.
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How often have you taken something home from a restaurant only to be completely disappointed by it's reheated lack of taste? Too many times to count I'm sure. Well, Taco Bell reheats superbly. Here's a discovery I made just a few weeks ago: Taco Bell is just as delicious cold as it is hot! The tastiness transcends temperature! OK, my judgement may have been slightly impaired because I had been drinking--but not a lot. I had 2 drinks which is nowhere near enough drinks to be incapable of knowing the difference between a good and a bad taste. It was good.
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Speaking of drinking, Taco Bell is one of the best drunk foods. It has always helped that for quite some time, Taco Bell was open way later than any other fast food restaurant thereby cornering the drunk and/or stoned demographic. And should you fall into that clientèle, it doesn't matter if you've spent all your money on your vice of choice because Taco Bell is so cheap!
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The fact that in the year 2008, during a recession, with gas well about $4/gallon, I am still able to get a taco for under $1 makes me proud to be an American. God bless this country and its very loose interpretation of Mexican cuisine. At those prices, you'd think Taco Bell would look like a much shadier place; but it doesn't. Actually, a lot of Taco Bells have been getting a face lift and look pretty good these days. I remember when the one near our house was re-done I told him it looked so good he should consider going there before prom.
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Sadly, when I speak of the Taco Bell that is "near" my house I am forced to use the term near quite loosely. It is the closest to my house, but it is not close at all. I can't eat Taco Bell as often as I might like. If anyone reading this has any connection to the Yum! Food higher-ups, try and suggest they bring a Taco Bell to the South Side (insert gang symbol here) of Lexington, KY. Queremos Taco Bell.

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