Thursday, July 10, 2008


Remember when you were little and your parents would tell you that too much TV would rot your brain? I should've known that wasn't true once I found out about the whole Santa Claus charade they had been perpetrating. I am so sick of people talking shit about TV. I've even heard it referred to as "Idiot Box;" I don't think there's any need to resort to name-calling. I love TV. And what's with people saying that you can't learn anything from TV? I learn stuff from TV all the time. And I'm not just talking about DIY programs, quiz shows and educational programming. Even commercials have been known to teach me things...for example:

The other day I saw a commercial for Sam Adams beer and there was the inventor of Sam Adams beer talking about hops and barley and whatnot. Up until that point, I was under the impression that Sam Adams invented the beer. Besides being a Declaration of Independence guy, I don't know what else Sam Adams did. I assumed that most of his time was spent at the brewery. Was Ben Franklin the only founding father who invented things? If Sam Adams didn't invent the beer, then why the hell would they name it after him? If I ever invent anything (highly unlikely, although should my brother invent anything I'll definitely be involved in the packaging and more aesthetic elements of the product) you can be damn sure that I'm naming it after myself.

According to Wikipedia, Sam Adams was a brewer in addition to being a revolutionary. But I don't think that this is his beer recipe or anything so it still doesn't explain why he is the beer's namesake. Paul Revere was a silversmith who opened a hardware and home goods store post-Revolutionary War, and now there is a brand of pots and pans known as Revereware. That makes sense.

But I digress, Sam Adams is not the point. The point is that TV taught me something. If not for TV I would've gone my entire life thinking that Sam Adams beer was created by a guy back in the 1700s. It could've been really embarrassing if I ever went on some sort of alcohol-themed Jeopardy-esque quiz show (should they ever invent one, and they might).

This is just one of many things I have learned from TV over the years. You can't deny that TV has taught you things, too! Would you have ever considered letting someone pee on a jellyfish sting had it not been for that episode of Friends ("The One With the Jellyfish")? I don't think so. Although I have been stung by jellyfish and still didn't let anyone urinate on me, but I didn't think they were crazy for offering.

While I'm on the subject of TV, let me just say how grateful I am to see the return of the sitcom. Don't get me wrong, I love dramatic crime dramas as much as the next person but night after night of elaborate and violent crimes has to take a toll on your psyche. Not to mention that now that I have to stay by myself a lot I get way too freaked out to watch all those shows. I can sometimes handle watching reruns, but only if I know that they catch the bad guy in the end (because if they don't, he might be outside my house). I know it's crazy, but I can't help it. Now I can watch shows like The Office and 30 Rock and not worry about anything.

I hope TV keeps teaching me things because I have no desire to go to grad school, but I do enjoy learning stuff.

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